


A Serious Conversation

by nekosd43



Series: Tumblr Requests [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Pre-OT3, Relationship Advice, Relationship Negotiation, Talking, True Love, Widowed, the grim reaper sees time differently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 15:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12844530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosd43/pseuds/nekosd43
Summary: Epersonae asked: I wish you would write a fic where Magnus and Kravitz have a heart-to-heart about Taako.After remembering their romance in the Stolen Century, Magnus is prepared to put his feelings for Taako aside to allow Kravitz and Taako to be happy together.  But what he isn't prepared for is for the Grim Reaper's own thoughts on life, death, and love.





	A Serious Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> So the set up would be that Magnus and Taako definitely dated in the stolen century, but after forgetting they never got back together again because Magnus was too hung up on the death of Julia. I don't usually write in this timeline of events so it was interesting to tackle.
> 
> This was sort of hammered out in an attempt to force writer's block to kick it to the curb. I may do a few more short things to keep myself working and stop stagnation from setting back in.
> 
> Thanks to the gang from the Chill Taagnus Hangout Discord for helping me out with this!

Magnus smoothed his shirt again as he double checked the table.  In truth, he did not  _ actually _ know if all this was a waste of his time or not, but he wasn’t going to do this without being a good host.  

It was the least he could do.  

He confirmed the place settings were out, the plates, the glasses, and then wandered back to the kitchen to check on the stew, carefully avoiding the dogs attempting to weave through his legs as he did so.

The cream colored stew bubbled softly, and Magnus stirred gently.  He wasn’t much of a cook, but Julia had always said that good food over difficult subjects was the best solution.  He had struggled to try to remember her recipes, eventually settling on her creamy chicken and vegetable stew, because it was remarkably difficult to mess that up.  Julia always would put noodles in it, but Magnus didn’t have any of those tonight, so he cut up some potatoes instead.  

She hated potatoes, but she wasn’t here.

He supposed it was fitting that he was thinking so much about her tonight.

Until a few months ago, he had thought he had only loved  _ one _ person, and would love her alone for the rest of his life.

There was a knock at the door, and Magnus knew it was a courtesy - he was certain his guest could get into his house  _ without _ knocking.  The dogs barked excitedly, gathering at the door.

“You can come in!” he cried, taking the stew off the direct heat, “I’m back in the kitchen!”

He heard the door open, and the pleased barks of the dogs as they greeted their guest.  It was returned with a deep and soft laugh, and Magnus felt himself getting hot and nervous as he cut up some bread to go with the soup.

“Hello Magnus.”

He looked up over the counter to see Kravitz, smiling at him as he patted each dog on the head in turn.  He had a kind face, all smiles and laugh lines and soft cheeks, but his eyes were dark and strange.  They were cold, but Magnus knew it wasn’t personal.  The dead can’t help but miss that spark of living.   As Kravitz looked around the room, he looked happy enough to be invited into Magnus’ home, but also unsure.  Magnus couldn’t blame him.  They hadn’t spent any time together alone.  They hadn’t spoken at all about…

“Hey Krav, thanks for coming!” Magnus stammered out as he sawed another slice of bread off, “...Can I call you Krav or is that weird for me to do?”

“Krav is fine,” the Reaper chuckled, “We’re friends, Magnus.  I want you to be comfortable with me.  Though I am surprised you wanted  _ just _ me over and not Taako too.”

“Well I like seeing Taako but,” Magnus swallowed and looked down at the cutting board sheepishly, “I wanted to talk to  _ you _ .”

Kravitz didn’t say anything in response, but he offered a hand helping Magnus bring the bread and stew and bottle of ale to the table.  After Magnus shooed the dogs off into the bedroom, he joined his guest in sitting at the table.

They sat quietly for a moment, not talking or moving, just staring at some spot on the table to avoid eye contact.  The stew smelled wonderful, and the bread was warm, and Magnus watched a bead of condensation slide down the side of the glass bottle of ale.  Everything was perfect.  He had to get on with it.  Finally, after what felt like an eternity to him, Magnus cleared his throat.

“My… Uh… My late wife used to say that good food is important when you need to have... difficult conversations,” he muttered, and Kravitz chuckled again.

“Your wife is very wise,” he said, finally breaking the tension and reaching for the bottle of ale.  Magnus released a sigh he didn’t know he had been holding, and served up the stew as Kravitz poured himself a glass.  “Thank you for the meal, Magnus.”

“I, uh… I wasn’t sure what kind of food you could eat, or if you even  _ do _ eat,” Magnus admitted, “Or if you’d want to eat with me.  Or if you’d want to eat while talking about… I actually didn’t think this through much at all, I’m sorry.”  He tried to pick up his spoon, but his fingers were shaking.

“Magnus it’s  _ okay _ ,” Kravitz said, putting a hand on Magnus’ arm calmly until his hands stilled.  “I  _ know _ what you want to talk about.”

“You do?” Magnus replied, flushing bright red as he looked into the Reaper’s eyes.

“Of  _ course _ I do,” Kravitz said, “The entire world had 100 years of your life broadcasted into our minds all at once.  You’ve only just remembered it yourself but…  I can see why you’d  _ want _ to talk about it.”

“It’s just,” Magnus finally picked up his spoon, and pushed some carrots around in his stew with a sad smile, “For the past ten years I thought I  _ understood _ my life.  It was simple and uncomplicated.  Julia was _ , is _ the love of my life, and I was prepared to live the rest of my life knowing I had lost  _ my one true love _ but…  I had another life and… I had another love… and it was just as true.”

Kravitz nodded without saying anything, and Magnus realized how foolish he was to think that Kravitz didn’t  _ know _ .  The entire world knew!  Everyone knew!  Everyone knew how he had fallen in love over 100 years, so wholly and completely.  Every detail captured in the Voidfishes’ song.  Magnus felt himself getting redder as he focused on the carrots, stirring them back into his bowl over and over again.

Kravitz’s voice cut through the silence like a sharpened knife.

“You loved Taako.”

Magnus looked up with a start, expecting a fight, but Kravitz’s face was still soft and kind.  He wasn’t angry or confused by any of this, and that was strange enough.  Magnus had expected some kind of reaction.

“Is… is that  _ okay _ with you?” Magnus stammered.  “I know… I know you love him too.  And he loves you.   And it’s not… it’s not fair for me to try and reclaim that, to be selfish.”

Kravitz closed his eyes, and took a needless breath, deep in thought.

“Why is your love selfish?” he asked calmly, far more calm than Magnus felt.

“Because…” Magnus went back to staring back at his plate, “Because I  _ had _ someone, I had my chance.  My one true love.  Now Taako has someone.  This is  _ his _ chance.  And… I still can’t… my mind can’t totally grasp that those 100 years were part of my  _ life _ .  It feels like… like someone else’s, and I’m just holding the memories.  He’s happy now, I can’t expect him to just drop everything and come back to me because we remembered...”

Kravitz’s eyes opened slowly, and he looked at Magnus with a focused stare.  “Why is that?”

“I’m not that person anymore,” Magnus admitted, trying to avoid his gaze, “I haven’t been him in ten years, and I’ll probably never be  _ him _ again.  And it’s selfish of me to want to have what  _ he _ had when I’m not… I’m not  _ him _ anymore.”

Kravitz paused to taste a spoonful of stew, and Magnus felt himself getting hotter and more nervous every second that passed in silence.  This was a horrible idea.  This was the worst idea he had ever had.  He wanted to sink down into the floor and disappear.

“Then why am I here?” Kravitz finally said, returning his spoon to the table.  “It sounds like you’ve made your mind up that you can’t be with him.”

“I guess I just… I needed to  _ say  _ it?” Magnus admitted, “I needed to acknowledge that I still have feelings for him, and that I need to come to terms with them.  And I needed…  I needed  _ you _ to know that I’m not going to get in the way.  That I  _ won’t _ love him anymore.”

“I don’t think that’s true at all,” Kravitz replied, and Magnus frowned in response.

“Why’s that?”

Kravitz folded his hands under his chin, resting his elbows on the table.  Everything he did felt soft and graceful, and this was no exception.  He looked as light as a feather.  “Do you want my advice?”

Magnus stared into his dark eyes, and felt a little bit of the tension swim up into his stomach, tightening his guts and making him nervous all over again.  Kravitz was so difficult to read, and he had no idea what sort of advice he would give.  But Magnus found himself nodding before he realized what was happening.

“Something you learn pretty quickly after dying,” Kravitz sighed, closing his eyes, “is that you can’t just  _ stop _ loving people.  Even when they’re dead.  Even when  _ you’re  _ dead.  Love, real love, is one of those eternal things.  Like Time.  Or Magic.  Or Death.  It always has been, and always will be.”

“Yeah I… I think I understand that,” Magnus nodded.  He knew that all too well.

“When you’re dead, Magnus, you lose all of the limitations you had when you were alive,” Kravitz continued, “You’re no longer constrained by a finite number of days on the earth.  You’re eternal too, and the only thing that remains is the equally eternal parts of you.  It changes your perspective on things.”

“How so?”

“I have  _ forever _ to love, Magnus, and I will love forever,” he concluded with a shrug, “Time won’t change it.  Life… your lives are so  _ short. _  Too short to spend it rationing something eternal out of fear you will run out.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” Magnus admitted sheepishly.

“Hmm… It admittedly is a concept that is hard to grasp for the living, but I think you and your friends, of all mortals, can grasp it…” Kravitz hummed.  “Let me put it another way: imagine you had the ability to create loaves of bread at will, with no ingredients or cost.  What would you do with that?”

“I guess… I guess I would go around giving out bread?” Magnus reasoned.  “I have something I can always make more of, and I’ll never run out of it, and it doesn’t hurt me to make more.”

“When we’re alive, it feels like we  _ can’t _ give away our love freely,” Kravitz explained, “because our lives are short and we don’t want to  _ waste _ it.  It feels so precious, so temporary, and we don’t want to run out of it.  But when you die you realize… you can’t  _ run out _ of love.  It doesn’t get  _ used up _ .  You can always find more of it.  You simply have to let yourself to be open to the idea that real love goes on  _ forever _ .”

Magnus felt his face relax as the realization hit him like a wave.

“You mean…” he stammered.

“When you loved Taako, you thought it wouldn’t end,” Kravitz explained, “and so you could give and give and  _ give _ and never feel limited.  When you thought you were mortal, you tried to hold onto it.  You tried to ration it, to only give your love to your first love, when in reality you can and had loved so much more.”

“You’re saying… that I could love both of them,” Magnus realized, “That there was always room for  _ both _ of them.”

“If I were to love one man, or a thousand men, I would still have the same amount of love to give away,” Kravitz concluded.  “In realizing this, you discover that you can love truly, deeply, authentically,  _ many times.   _ There is no  _ one chance _ , there are as many chances as you are willing to give yourself to.”

“But… How can I when things have changed…  _ I’ve _ changed so much?”

“You say the old you doesn’t exist anymore, but you’re wrong.  We wouldn’t be talking about this if that was true.  You still love Taako, you will always love Taako.  And you still love  _ Julia _ , you will always love Julia.   _ I _ love Taako, I will always love Taako, and Taako loves me, but he  _ also _ loves you.  And always will.”

Magnus found his eyes were burning, and he hastily rubbed them to try and push back tears.

“Kravitz I-”

“I am dead, Magnus, I have an eternity to experience this love for Taako,” Kravitz said quietly, “But your lives are  _ so short _ , it should be a joy while living it.  It’s different, when you’re alive.  Life is full of feeling.  You should  _ have _ joy while living it.”

He reached across the table to grasp Magnus’ hand, which was shaking again.

“So it’s… it’s  _ okay _ that I still love him?” Magnus cried, finally unable to hold back any more as the tears spilled over.  “You won’t be mad or jealous or-”

Kravitz chuckled.  “Jealousy is not something Death experiences.  Death gets everyone in the end.  I have no issue with Taako finding love in many places, and ultimately it  _ does _ come down to what Taako wants,” Kravitz reminded him, “but knowing him, and knowing what you two have been through, I think it will be a  _ relief _ to him.  Knowing that he is still so deeply cared for by someone he loves  _ so much _ .”

The tears were hot on Magnus’ face, but he couldn’t stop smiling.  He sniffled, rubbing his eyes on the back of his hand as he attempted to get control of his sobs, but Kravitz only smiled and laughed, returning to his stew bowl.

“Th-thank you Kr-rav,” Magnus stammered, fighting against sobs of joy, “You’re… you’re a pretty great guy.  Taako’s lucky to have you.”

“Mmm, maybe,” Kravitz sighed wistfully, “But I suspect he was lucky far before he ever met me.”

Then, as if that settled the matter, Kravitz began to enjoy the stew Magnus had prepared with his full attention.  After a while, Magnus finally steadied his breathing, and began to eat.  They finished the meal, quietly and peacefully, and Kravitz helped Magnus carry the dishes back into the kitchen. 

“Magnus,” Kravitz said quietly as he set dishes into the sink, “Why did you need to talk to  _ me _ about this and not Taako?”

“I thought…” Magnus smiled sadly as he picked up a sponge and ran it under the water.  “I thought I could say goodbye to him if I had promised it to someone else first.  If I had already told you I wasn’t going to get in the way… it would be easier to do it when I saw him.”

“You mortals are so funny,” Kravitz laughed softly, putting a hand on Magnus’ shoulder, “Wouldn’t it have been harder to  _ lie _ to Taako, even after promising me you would?”

“I…  I hadn’t thought of that,” Magnus said, taking a dish into his hands.

“Mmm, it seems you really aren’t the best at planning,” Kravitz smiled.  “Good thing I talked you out of it.”

As Magnus washed and Kravitz dried, they swapped stories of the little things they loved about their shared love over the years.  Magnus found Kravitz loved a lot of the same things about Taako that he did.  The both loved his smile, his genuine laugh.  They loved the way he moved through the world, like he was dancing or skating, and how he made even accidents look graceful.  But Kravitz also loved Taako’s  _ warmth _ and that was something Magnus had never appreciated, being so much  _ warmer _ than Taako.  And Magnus loved his little expressions of frustration or joy or confusion, which Kravitz couldn’t read as easily.  It was wonderful to know they both could love him, appreciate him for who he was, but also for the little things unique to their experiences.

As Magnus put dishes away and thanked Kravitz for his time and wisdom, he felt something stirring inside him, and he no longer felt nervous about it.

For the first time in a long time, Magnus realized he was still so full of love to give.

And that he wanted to keep giving it.

**Author's Note:**

> ~*MAGIC SPELL TO END WRITERS BLOCK PLEASE WORK THIS TIME*~


End file.
